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Sam Dylan Finch

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I’ve been living in this trench coat lately. No fancy caption — I just like this photo that @highthemme took of me. 💕

Tarot cards have been really illuminating in my recovery journey. I wanted to share this 4-card spread and reflect back some of my own challenges in recovery, with the hopes that it might inspire some insights of your own. ✨ WHAT NEEDS MY ATTENTION/WHAT IS AT STAKE? 〽️ (Six of Swords) ✨ This is a card that’s often associated with a painful journey — and as with most painful journeys, there’s a grief process that one must endure before they can move forward. If we don’t allow ourselves to grieve, we miss the abundant opportunities and healing that will inevitably follow. Where can you create more spaciousness for grieving? Can you give yourself permission to feel sorrow without a need to “fix” anything? ✨ WHAT HAVE I PUSHED AWAY OR OVERLOOKED? 〽️ (Six of Wands) ✨ The six of wands is often a card of celebration and victory over a hardship. It is a powerful reminder that in recovery, we often overlook the progress we have made by fixating on the work that’s still left for us to do. Can you be open to acknowledging the hard work you’ve done so far, and what you’ve accomplished, even (and especially!) when you aren’t exactly where you’d like to be? ✨ WHAT WILL I GAIN? 〽️ (Queen of Cups, Reversed) ✨ When this card comes up, it often points to emotional blocks — areas where we find it difficult to authentically express our feelings. In recovery, a big part of our growth comes from embracing our truth, even if it makes others (and ourselves!) uncomfortable. You can expect that, by investing in your healing, you will find ways to dismantle these emotional blocks and move closer to full ownership of your truth. ✨ WHERE CAN I DRAW HOPE/STRENGTH/POWER? 〽️ (Page of Pentacles) ✨ Pages are often depicted as the students of tarot — they approach life with an open mind, curiosity, and a willingness to explore and experiment. Pentacles in particular often point to a certain kind of resourcefulness. Can you approach your recovery with curiosity, creativity, and flexibility? There is strength to be found in a beginner’s mind, as we are less inclined to get in our own way. ✨ 🃏: @personalspacepress 🖋: @samdylanfinch

Any mental health struggle can be isolating. I am finding this to be especially true in eating disorder recovery, because while I was restricting my food intake, I was also restricting the amount of connection and intimacy I allowed myself to have with other people. The result? When I finally left treatment, I found myself struggling to reconnect and repair the relationships that had suffered as a result of my isolation. 🌱 There’s the added, painful layer of seeing who was able to stick around to support you, and who — for whatever the reason may be — wasn’t able to hold it down. At a time when connections feel scarce and vital, it is especially hard to take note of who’s left... and who simply, well, left (or needs to — because that’s valid, too). 🌱 Loneliness in recovery is such a real thing. It’s difficult to come out of a state of isolation. It’s hard to explain to others what you’ve been through. It’s awful to notice when others pull away. And it’s scary to see which relationships you’ve outgrown simply by doing the healing work that you needed to do. When you’re already grieving the time you’ve lost to a particular struggle, the last thing you want to do is grieve the loss of love and connection, too. 🌱 If you have a loved one that has been through a mental health struggle, please reach out. Let them know you’re still around. Let them know the brunch invite still stands. Let them know your boundaries upfront (“I can offer... but I can’t do... and I won’t talk about...”), and trust that you can find a new path forward, together. 🌱 A few words of reassurance can go a long way for those of us who only recently stepped back into our lives. We’re often scared, even when we don’t show it. We’re often lonely, even if we seem like we’re back on track and even “thriving.” Mental illness can be the loneliest experience, and post-“recovery” life, even more so. Be gentle, be kind, and be honest. But most of all, be a friend — because you never really know who needs one.

Being in relationship to other people in authentic ways involves putting yourself in harm’s way. It means uncomfortable conversations. It means stepping on toes. It means hurting each other’s feelings, even when we didn’t mean to. It means that things get messy and hearts get bruised. ✨ It does feel easier to give people what they want, to tell them what they want to hear, and quietly shoulder the hurt and the weight of things unspoken. It may feel safe to keep the peace with others, even if it means never having any inner peace for yourself. There is a kind of ease in damaging yourself to keep your relationships shiny and unscathed. I know this — believe me, I do. ✨ Happiness doesn’t live there, though. Because happiness requires your whole self being seen. Happiness requires the inner peace and trust that comes with honoring your own emotions, needs, and desires. Happiness requires a little bit of heartache so that people can finally meet you where you deserve to be met. ✨ Don’t confuse the safety of people-pleasing for the authentic happiness that comes with being true to yourself. Not everyone will be down for it, no — but I refuse to believe that anyone has to sacrifice who they are just to be connected to other human beings. There are people who want all of you. You’ll find them as soon as you stop dousing your own fire.

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