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7 Subtle Signs Your Trauma Response is to ‘Fawn’

7 Subtle Signs Your Trauma Response is to ‘Fawn’

“I once felt guilty because a friend spent thirty minutes looking for parking near the cafe I chose to meet them at.”

Patients of size are being harmed in ED recovery. This printable resource aims to help.

Patients of size are being harmed in ED recovery. This printable resource aims to help.

“As a patient in a larger body, I feel it’s important that we are on the same page regarding my treatment.”

Fatphobia in eating disorder recovery exists. And now my friend might die because of it.

Fatphobia in eating disorder recovery exists. And now my friend might die because of it.

“‘You three get two scoops of ice cream.’ She then looked at me and said, ‘You’ll get a kiddie scoop.’”

People-pleasing can be a result of trauma. It’s called ‘fawning’ — here’s how to recognize it.

People-pleasing can be a result of trauma. It’s called ‘fawning’ — here’s how to recognize it.

“I avoided those relationships where love was free and easy. Because it didn’t feel ‘earned,’ so I didn’t feel worthy.”

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Get yourself someone who loves you the way my cats are obsessed with each other. 🍓🐈🍓
When I started losing weight because of my last bout of anorexia, the praise was swift. And while I logically knew it was fatphobic and ultimately meaningless, deep down it fueled my eating disorder even more, because I’d still internalized this idea that I was Doing Good. 🍃 It’s painful to look back at old photos and wonder how I could receive so much applause and zero questions about whether or not I was okay. That’s how deep diet culture really goes — no one considered that I might be sick. And even if I was, it was irrelevant, because I left the chub club and became desirable and cis-passing. It was apparently better to be dying and thin and cisnormative than to be fat and happy and trans. That isn’t lost on me. 🍃 That’s not the world I want to live in, though. One that is so profoundly fatphobic that it promotes illness and wishes to eradicate anyone in a larger body (you can’t call it a “war on obesity” and convince me this isn’t about eliminating fat people from society or at the very least, public life). And on the days I can’t choose myself in recovery, I remember this is much bigger than any one person — so I choose to nourish my body because a fatphobic world will NOT be what kills me, and I am determined to keep fighting until it stops hurting everyone else, especially my fat friends and loved ones. 🍃 Eating disorder recovery can’t be divorced from fatphobia, and in that sense, recovery can’t be, either. And I think it’s time that thin folks especially understand that while eating disorders are absolutely a mental illness, not confronting fatphobia — both in ourselves and in our world — is a choice. Choose better. . . . #haes #healthateverysize #bodypositive #fatacceptance #edrecoverywarrior #dietculturedropout
This is the card of reckless, gorgeous beginnings. And this is an energy I am really feeling as I move into this new apartment. I feel inspired to reshape my life, just as I’m reshaping my space and my home. 🙏🏻✨ What’s new with you? What are you hoping to hit the “reset” button on?
Insecurities are opportunities for growth if we approach with curiosity instead of judgment. We don’t have to accept our insecurities, but we can definitely get to know them and unravel them! 🌻 Some questions to explore: 🌱 What is the evidence that makes this true? Would a friend see it the same way? 🌱 Where did I first encounter this idea? Was it something someone said? Was it a cultural or social norm? 🌱 What is the underlying feeling and what do I need to soothe it? (Loneliness/Connection? Fear/Affirmation?) 🌱 How can I rewrite the story? Try a prompt like: “It makes sense that I feel X because... but with time, I can work to feel Y by...” 🌻 Every one of us is growing — and if we go about it intentionally and thoughtfully, negative emotions become important information that can take us where we want to be. ♥️

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